The Heart's Memory
by Nckmillr
Summary: "He was still too young to know that the heart's memory eliminates the bad and magnifies the good, and that thanks to this artifice we manage to endure the burden of the past."
1. A Tiny Spark

**AN: (Titled after a ****_Cholera_**** quote, sue me). Here's a quick Ted/Mother fic for you. Let me know what you think, as I may decide to follow up with more chapters (possibly just little snippets of their life together). I realize I never refer to the Mother by name in this one- I can't seem to decide what to call her, so I'm leaving it up to Carter & Craig. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!**

_"But I love your feet _  
_only because they walked _  
_upon the earth and upon _  
_the wind and upon the waters, _  
_until they found me." _

- Pablo Neruda, _Your Feet_

* * *

This date was something special.  
He'd said this before, of course, but this time something inside him knew the words rang true. This girl was something infinitely _more_ than any other he'd dated. More intelligent, with a better sense of humor, triggering more interest. Ted had always looked for certain women based on where he was at in life; Robin when he was at his most desperate, Victoria when he was at his highest, Jeanette when he was at his lowest. The independent girl, the perfect girl, the crazy girl. And this time- the right girl. She was warm and kind and honest, and Ted knew that's what he needed now (and could have used back then).  
They agreed to meet for coffee.  
It wasn't Ted's first choice- he'd wanted to take her to a fancy restaurant- but she had insisted the date be low-maintenance. It was another thing that was refreshing about this girl. The bell over the door jingled as Ted walked in, scanning the couches and tables before spotting her seated in an over sized, sinking chair. The cushions nearly swallowed her whole. "Hi there."  
Her head shot up, as it had been dipped over a book. She smiled. "Hey, nice to see you again."  
"What's that you're reading?" Ted wondered, taking a seat beside her. He leaned down to see the cover: the Inferno by Dante Alighieri. He had a flash of their first meeting, when they'd bonded over Love in the Time of Cholera. Ted felt his grin widen. "You," he began, amazed, "have impeccable taste." She laughed as Ted shifted to face her wholly. "I'm serious- first Cholera and now Inferno? What's next, Neruda?"  
"I love Neruda." she confirmed, leaning closer. His energy was contagious.  
"I think I need to buy you a coffee," he replied, tilting his head towards the barista. He stood and gestured for her to go first, following her to the counter.  
The date was relaxed, the conversation flowing with ease. Ted didn't crack a marriage joke even once- but she _had_ laughed at his lame puns. "You're amazing." he said later, as they stood outside her apartment, "I know we've just met-" he'd paused to consider his words, treading lightly, "But I think think there's a lot of potential here." It was a lame thing to say, but Ted couldn't quite bring himself to regret it.  
"_Poca favilla gran fiamma seconda_." she replied, her voice soft and low. She followed this with a kiss goodbye. Ted smiled as she shut the door on him, her smug look resonating. He ran over her words and recognized the quote immediately. It was a line from Dante's Inferno;_ from a tiny spark may burst a mighty flame._


	2. Handle With Care

"He is ugly and sad...but he is all love."  
- Gabriel Garcí a Márquez, _Love in the Time of Cholera_

* * *

She finds out eventually, of course.  
At first he tries to keep these things hidden, to give her a good impression. But soon enough, and with just a little prompting, words spill out of him like a broken faucet. One night on his sofa, she glances away from the movie to look at him. "Tell me about them." she requests, and Ted turns to meet her gaze. "About who?" he wonders, brows narrowing in confusion.  
"The ones before me." she says simply, but decides to press on, "Your first love. Your latest. Which one did the most damage."  
Ted appraises her, always a little in awe of this girl. She was honest in ways he wished he could be.  
"In that case-" He reaches for the remote and the screen goes black. He turns to face her fully, holding her hands in his. "The first one was Karen," he admits, and goes on for a while. He tells her of Stella, and Zoey, and Victoria. It takes a while to explain his time with the ladder, but she insists he not skip any details. And so he doesn't.  
It's after he's listed and rehashed numerous tales that he pauses. There was only one girl left- simultaneously his latest love and the one to do the most damage. Ted knows that this is a turning point- telling the truth about_ his friend Robin_ may be pushing his luck, but she is rubbing her thumb against his hand, and for some reason the gesture makes him want to continue. "There was one more girl," Ted says carefully, purposefully using the past-tense. "Just before I met Victoria- I went on a date with someone else." He fidgets, and she waits patiently, because she knows well the fact that the truth is never easy. Ted lets the words roll off of his tongue- the blue french horn, the olive theory, "I think I'm in love with you.". He tells about the wedding, and cheating on Victoria, and the inevitable falling out. He skips ahead to their reunion, then their breakup. The stories come out slowly, and with great caution. Robin and Barney sleeping together, and Ted's jealousy. Ted and Robin sleeping together, and Barney's jealousy. It occurs to him that the further into the explanation he gets, the more Barney's name comes up.  
When he's done, Ted watches her carefully. Her face is mostly blank, for she had been listening closely. He doesn't quite know what he expected, but the kiss that follows was not it.  
There must have been a question in his eyes, because when they part she shakes her head. "It doesn't bother me." she clarifies, and Ted adds _understanding_ to the list of things he likes best about her.  
She should be concerned. His friendship with Robin should be a deal breaker, just as it had been for Victoria. But she doesn't care much about his past- she cares about the future, specifically, whether they can have one together. She believes they could. Ted may be bruised and uncertain- she knows that she is- and he has faults just like the rest. He says the wrong thing and rushes in too quickly, but he also makes her laugh. He's a box marked _fragile_, but he reads her Neruda and holds her hand tightly. Ted has a wonderful, handle-with-care heart, and for that she can be okay with the baggage.

* * *

**AN: Thanks for reading, guys! Your reviews mean the world to me, so feel free to keep leaving them.**


	3. Finish Line

**AN: This chapter was inspired by groundcontroltomajortom's story "Westchester", which you should all check out because it's lovely. As always, thank you for the reviews (even though I don't usually respond, they really do mean a lot).**

_"So I wait for you like a lonely house_  
_till you will see me again and live in me._  
_Till then my windows ache."_  
-Pablo Neruda, _100 Love Sonnets _

* * *

The house had come together nicely- more than nicely, actually, Ted thought as he stepped through the threshold.  
He'd convinced Lily to take a break from giving Marshall the cold-shoulder and allow him to come see the finished product up in Westchester. Him and Ted had driven up on Friday evening, just short of two weeks after Barney and Robin's wedding. Between Ted's date nights and Lily being pissed at Marshall, the two hadn't gotten to see much of each other. "Wow." Marshall said from behind his friend, closing the front door. He glanced around, amazed that it was the same house that had been all rubble and termites just a few years ago. "You really fixed it up," he continued, looking about in awe. Ted was enjoying the reaction as he strolled into the living room with a superior grin. "I told you I would."  
Marshall nodded, an approving look on his face. "So when does the missus move in?" he joked, leaning against the wall. Ted chuckled, turning to the cooler they'd lugged in with a sigh. "At the rate it's going? Could be any day now." He popped open two beers, passing one to Marshall.  
"Oh, Ted. Already?" he asked, accepting the drink. He took a swig. "It's been just shy of two weeks, and you're mentally picking out bedroom sets."  
"Hey." Ted protested, laughing despite himself. "I'm serious, man. This girl is..." he trailed off, lost in thoughts of her smile. Marshall grinned. "I'm happy for you." he said, on a more serious note. His tone was somewhat wistful, which wasn't lost on Ted. "How are things with Lily?" he questioned, but only because it was his job as the best friend. He knew exactly how things were- "Tense." Marshall replied, deflating a little. He led the way out to the back deck, sitting down on the steps. His fingers wrapped more tightly around his bottle.  
Ted followed, clapping Marshall's shoulder as he sat beside him. "It'll blow over."  
This was true, and they both knew it. That fact, however, didn't change the way Lily made a point of avoiding eye contact and insisted on performing Marvin's lullaby on her own.  
"No, I know." Marshall agreed, staring into the trees of the backyard. "I can't blame her, at any rate...But that doesn't mean I have to _like_ the way things are." And things were this way on his own accord; the strain at home was nothing compared to the guilt he felt for being so selfish. "I crushed Lily's dream, and for what? So I could live mine?" Marshall rubbed the bridge of his nose.  
"Hey-" Ted interjected, trying to catch his eye. "You made a decision, and maybe it was the more..." he searched for a word to use, "_self-serving_ one, but that doesn't mean it was wrong, either." Ted shifted to face Marshall. "Think of it this way- by accepting the judgeship, you get to stay in New York with all your friends...it saves you from having to learn a new language- and, come on, how cool does _Judge Eriksen_ sound?"  
"I mean yeah, Judge Eriksen is a sweet title, but that's not the point, Ted." Marshall stared down at his beer. "For the rest of my days, I have to look at my wife and know that I stood in the way of her happiness." He closed his eyes, tensing, and Ted felt a pang of sympathy. "Dude, listen- Lily will be plenty happy without going to Rome." He was desperate to cheer up his friend. "She still has you, and Marvin, and the rest of us. This fight won't last forever."  
"Let's not talk about it." Marshall said abruptly, and to both of the men's horror, his voice cracked.  
Ted patted his shoulder once more. "Tell me about the new girl. You've gone on, what, four dates?" Marshall wondered, to Ted's delight. His face lit up. "She's perfect- almost too good to be true."  
"How so?"  
Ted hesitated, feeling the urge to bare his soul. "It's ju- have you ever met someone really unprecedented? And there's something about being with them that's so different from the others?"  
Marshall glanced over, bemused. "Ted, I've been with the same woman since I was eighteen."  
"Right." Ted grasped for words to explain. "Okay. You know how you met Lily and new almost immediately that she was the one?" Marshall nodded, giving a wary look to Ted. They'd been down this road many times before. "I know that face- but it's not what you're thinking. This girl, she's something else. She loves the same literature as me, and doesn't yawn when I talk about neoclassicism. I mean, Christ, for our second date we went to a museum." Ted broke off, feeling awestruck at the mere thought of her. Marshall laughed, completely pleased. "She sure sounds different- good different." he added, watching Ted.  
"Wonderful different. Did I mention she wears driving gloves?"  
"Oh, bro." Marshall replied, chuckling, "You've most definitely found Mrs. Mosby."  
"That's the thing- I really think I have." Ted was peeling away his beer label. What came next took a strange amount of courage to say. "When I put this place up for sale, I was at a really low point." Marshall nodded, somber. "I know, buddy."  
"Really. With all that had been going on at that time- Robin, the wedding, everything...I felt so defeated- and that's coming from the Washington Generals of love." Ted laughed without much humor. "But this time, it was almost unbearable. Not like I had to start over, but like I was finished for good." He recalled the dull throb in his chest as he'd read Barney's engagement text. "And now, with her, it's like I'm at the finish line, but I've won the race."  
Marshall watched Ted with a small grin. "Well, I'm happy for you, man. I'm glad at least one of us will be getting some action."  
Ted laughed, pulled out of his reverie. "How Barney of you."  
"Someone's gotta pick up the slack while he's on the honeymoon."  
The two chuckled again, letting the seriousness of the evening subside. Ted was glad to have his friend with him, and even more so when he remembered his date tomorrow. Like this house, he'd only been waiting for the right one to come patch him up.

* * *

**AN: Oh, god, please excuse the cheesy, cheesy ending.**  
**Anyway, I think I like this chapter. Marshall and Ted have such a great friendship, and I absolutely love the ending scene in "Home Wreckers" where they're on the deck talking, so this is kind of my own little recreation of that. I hope you enjoyed!**


End file.
